VINCE: It's not every day you find someone like that. She's beautiful. She's smart. She's got a hell of an ass. I'm not saying that to be crude, she really does. Look, you think girls like her just fall out of the sky? You got lucky man. You hit the jackpot. Just think, she could be with anyone, and she chose you? That's luck right there. I'm not trying to be rude or nothin but … [Read more...] about Sick In The Head
Plays
Beyond Words
LAWRENCE: I didn't know what love at first sight was until I saw you. I thought it was just about wanting someone, wanting to do things with someone. But it's more than that. It's this immediate recognition of someone. Like when two separate notes come together to make a harmony. There's a beauty to it that's beyond words. And I don't want to, or mean to, scare you off in any … [Read more...] about Beyond Words
The Possessed Printer
In this comedic monologue from the play, "The Possessed Printer", Jordan shares with a colleague what's really been going on at work. JORDAN: The new printer, it's... evil. I don't just mean it takes too long to print, which it does. I mean, it's alive and it's... evil. (beat) I'm not crazy, by the way. And I know when you say, 'I'm not crazy', it usually means that you are, … [Read more...] about The Possessed Printer
Swipe Left
In this comedic monologue from the play, "Swipe Left", Cynthia tells her friend about the series of unfortunate dates she's been on recently. CYNTHIA: I'm a hopeless romantic. Emphasis on the 'hopeless'. I've been on so many disastrous Tinder dates, I think the app should start sending me sympathy cards. Take last Tuesday when I met up with Michael. He showed up late, sat … [Read more...] about Swipe Left
Roots
In this comedic monologue from the play, "Roots", Kelly is distraught at a recent tragedy. KELLY (crying): I-don't-wanna-talk-about-it... I said, I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT! I can't believe they died... they all died! My beautiful, wonderful... plants. (Realizing) I'm a murderer. I'm a mass plant murderer. I should go to plant jail. Where they grow vines for bars, you're … [Read more...] about Roots