In this monologue from the play, “City of Angels”, Tom, a young man grappling with depression is sent to sunny Los Angeles by his well-meaning family, only to find that the change of scenery does little to alleviate his inner turmoil.
TOM: Mom, listen. I know you guys are worried, but this whole L.A. thing? It’s not working. Everyone thought the sun and palm trees would magically make everything better, but it’s just… it’s not that easy.
I’m walking around here, right, and everything’s bright, sunny, everyone’s living it up. And I’m just… I’m not feeling any of it. It’s like I’m watching this whole other world where everyone’s happy, and I’m on the outside looking in.
And I’m kinda mad, honestly. Mad that you guys thought a bit of sun and a new place would just… fix me. It feels like you’re all trying to put a band-aid on something that’s… that’s way deeper. It’s like saying, “Cheer up, it’s sunny,” as if I haven’t tried that a million times already.
I get up each morning, see this perfect blue sky, and it just… it feels heavy. It’s supposed to be all healing and hopeful, but to me, it’s just another day of trying to pretend I’m okay. And I’m not, Mom. I’m really not.
I know you guys did this because you care. But it’s not about the weather or the place. It’s something in me, something that doesn’t care if it’s L.A. or anywhere else. And sending me here, it just feels like you don’t get that. Like I’m being shipped off so you don’t have to deal with it.
I need… I don’t know, more than just a change of scenery. I need help, real help. And I need you guys to see that, to hear me. Not just send me off to a sunny place and hope for the best.
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