In this monologue from the play, “The Art of Seduction”, Arthur confesses that he’s not exactly an ideal affair partner.
ARTHUR: I mean, who knew that attempting a… a liaison would be so complicated? You see, I’m not the kind of guy who does this sort of thing. I’m the ‘nice guy,’ at least I was. But somewhere along the line, I started feeling like life was passing me by. Like I was missing out on… I don’t know, excitement? Adventure? But who am I kidding? I’m no Casanova. I’m just Arthur. I mean here you are, this beautiful, vibrant woman, and here I am, talking your ear off about my midlife crisis. I guess what I’m trying to say is, I’m sorry. Sorry to be dragging you into my mess of a middle-aged fantasy. You deserve better than this, you deserve someone who can be unfaithful properly. You deserve someone suave. Someone who’s… not me. I get flop sweat just thinking about the scheduling of a love affair. Do we meet during the day? The night? What do I say to my wife? If there was a manual, I’d feel so much more comfortable. The Cheater’s Guide to Infidelity. But there’s not. I’m rambling. Please, Lorna, find someone better. It won’t be hard.
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